Zero-In Acquires Google
Press Release:

Zero-In, Digital Solutions Company, Acquires Google. 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

New York, NY – Manhattan based digital solutions company, Zero-In, today announced its acquisition of technology giant, Google. The all-cash acquisition topped the charts at $1 trillion, the most lucrative company acquisition in the history of US business. Through the acquisition, Zero-In will be able to offer Google users an even broader range of an already vast array of web-based services. Given the company’s expertise in digital communications, the takeover makes perfect sense. Zero-In is a medium-sized business headquartered in the heart of New York City. It also operates an administrative office in Sparta, NJ. Despite its size, Zero-In is truly a global company, serving clients in all 50 states, as well as Canada, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Australia and several other countries throughout Europe, Asia and Africa.

Zero-In currently lacks a CEO and is reportedly excited to keep Larry Page onboard. A spokesperson at Zero-In, said of Page at a press conference, “His experience and knowledge of the technology industry will be great resources to our company. Plus, we don’t always feel like leaving the office for a coffee run, so that will be Larry’s responsibility moving forward.” Page’s response to Zero-In’s enthusiasm to having him on its team has been equally ecstatic. At the same press conference, Page announced, “I just sold Google for $1 trillion. I don’t mind making coffee runs, even if I have to go to Columbia. I’ll just take the private jet.”

The company has also reported that it will not change Google’s name since there is a high level of brand awareness and recognition amongst its users, although it briefly considered combining the two company names to “Zoogle-In”. Google users can expect a seamless transition as Zero-In takes over the company’s operations. The company will continue to focus on developing innovative products, with an emphasis on wearable technology, such as Google Glass. “Our first creation will be a new Google watch that combines the functionality of Google’s Android watches and the fashionability of the popular Casio G-Shock,” says Zero-In. “It’s still in development at this point, but our marketing department plans on naming it the G-Mock.”

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